An Open (Love) Letter to my Husband
Two years ago, when asked if I promised to love you, comfort you, honor and keep you for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, being faithful only to you so long as we both shall live, the only honest answer was that I really, really do. Two years have passed and my answer remains the same. You are my best friend, my teammate, the first person I turn to in all situations and the only person I can imagine sharing every single day of the rest of my life with. You are my ever-present buoy in the sometimes tumultuous waters of life. Here's to year three of married life, and to all the years to come that will stack on top of each other faster than we can ever predict that they will.
I hope you remember on this day, (and every day) that this ring is my gift to you, a symbol that I will love you forever, with all of my heart and every last bit of my soul.
I'm your moon. You're my moon. We go round and round.*
*from i'm your moon by Jonathan Coulton
An Open Letter to Meatloaf
Dear Meatloaf,
As a child, I spent many hours listening to Bat Out of Hell (on vinyl!), singing and dancing whilst doing household chores with my sisters. I cannot count the number of times I have watched you sing "Hot Patootie" before you meet your untimely demise at the hands of the world's favorite sweet transvestite. I even gave Bat Out of Hell 2: Back into Hell a good shot, even though it wasn't as good as the original. I've heard you were fabulous in Fight Club, and I loved you in Formula 51. However, while watching tv this morning, I saw this:
This is not acceptable Meatloaf.
no love,
TheBon
PS. Tiffany, you're not off the hook either.
This One is Gonna be Short…
Why, why, why do we need a "mint flavored chewable birth control pill"? That is all.
An Open Letter to my Neighbor, version 2
Dear Ms. Agoraphobic,
I know that it is too much for your sensitive soul to be subjected to any noise at any time. However, the fact that you insisted on banging on my wall, not once, not even twice, but three times at 2.30 pm on the Saturday just past could not (and did not) change the fact that it was not my music that you were hearing. Rather, it was music belonging to BoomBassBartender who lives on the other side of me. Bass travels well, especially along the outside of walls. So, I'm sorry that when I tried to stop your banging by ringing your doorbell to talk to you like grownups that you chose to hide from me (resulting in me having to call the apartment manager to come and make you stop). I'm sorry that my living next to you has been nearly three years of constant torture and injury to your sensitive soul simply by virtue of the fact that I exist.
Again, you get no love from me,
TheBon
Ms. Agoraphobic and BoomBassBartender are only two of the things we hate about this apartment. We've wanted out for well over a year now. However, it has not been feasible for us to pack up and move, or else we would have been long gone. *sigh* Technically I never should have rang her bell, we're not supposed to ever confront another tenant. Instead we're supposed to call the apartment manager's cell phone and let him deal with it. Normally I'd have no problem with this but, quite frankly, I was steamed by her idiocy.
An Open Letter to Aught-Six
Dear Aught-Six*,
You were generally a pretty good year. I managed to live through the first quarter century of my life and the subsequent quarter life crisis. I'm not going to dwell on those things that didn't go my way Aught-Six, you and I know what they were and here's hoping that more of the same doesn't occur in Aught-Seven. Generally I had a pretty fantastic year. My favorite moments, which you might remember include the following:
-I made some new friends. Kelly, S, M, E and of course, my dear doppleganger, the other Bonnie
-I bought Gert, my trusty spinning wheel without whom I fear my head would explode on a semi-regular basis.
-I did some traveling. Several trips to various points in Washington, a trip to Las Vegas, and the trip in which I introduced TheBoy to the beautiful state of Maine, the state that will forever be my home.
-I visited two fiber festivals-The Black Sheep Gathering and the Oregon Flock and Fiber Festival.
-I spun copious amounts of yarn and knit many things. I couldn't even begin to catalog either here so let's suffice to say that I didn't do nearly as much of either as I wish I did.
-I bought a new camera and even started to learn how to use it.
-I helped to welcome into the world one of the sweetest babies I've ever seen and then wished he and his parents best of luck as they relocated back to the great Midwest from whence we came.
No matter how good you've been Aught-Six, Aught-Seven promises to be just as full of big, wonderful thing--like descending upon San Francisco and Stitches West and TheBon-TheBoy Wedding. I'll miss you Aught-Six, but it's time to move on. Best Wishes Aught-Six, I won't forget you and all you taught me.
Welcome Aught-Seven,
TheBon
*I will forever and always equate the word "aught" with some of the best professors that I've ever had. I am so thankful to count them among the people in my life.