Two years ago, when asked if I promised to love you, comfort you, honor and keep you for better or worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and health and forsaking all others, being faithful only to you so long as we both shall live, the only honest answer was that I really, really do. read more
Dear Meatloaf, As a child, I spent many hours listening to Bat Out of Hell (on vinyl!), singing and dancing whilst doing household chores with my sisters. I cannot count the number of times I have watched you sing “Hot Patootie” before you meet your untimely demise at the hands of the world’s favorite sweet read more
Why, why, why do we need a “mint flavored chewable birth control pill”? That is all.
Dear Ms. Agoraphobic, I know that it is too much for your sensitive soul to be subjected to any noise at any time. However, the fact that you insisted on banging on my wall, not once, not even twice, but three times at 2.30 pm on the Saturday just past could not (and did not) read more
Dear Aught-Six*,You were generally a pretty good year. I managed to live through the first quarter century of my life and the subsequent quarter life crisis. I’m not going to dwell on those things that didn’t go my way Aught-Six, you and I know what they were and here’s hoping that more of the same read more